If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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