I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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