So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
