so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
