could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I will pee on everything he values.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
This toilet bowl is my home.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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