I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
