Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
