you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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