I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
