I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
