I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
