HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
