Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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