I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
