3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
