Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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