shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We had sex on a dog bed..
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
