Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
