I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Randomize
