weddingsv make me drug and hornr
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
