Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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