If that was your dad, he is hot
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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