My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
