Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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