found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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