So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
