this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I think my moral compass just broke
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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