took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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