Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
