Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I can text with my tongue
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
