Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
