Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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