I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
