but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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