I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
