I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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