At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
