I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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