Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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