Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
