my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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