Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
