I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
