so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
