just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
