We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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