trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
