It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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