I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I think your dad took our porno
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
