What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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