I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
