I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
