no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
