Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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