In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
