Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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