I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
