Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
