she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Everclear isn't food dammit
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize