I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
