Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
