youre lurking in front of me
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
