i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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