It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize