operation have a gay friend backfired
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
