One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
