this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
