I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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